Queen Victoria Isn’t the Only One with a Birthday!
(Happy Birthday Esly!)
By Zara D. Garcia-Alvarez / @ZaraAlexis
While many people take the opportunity to bask in the limelight in life and especially on their birthday, my husband, Esly, is quite the opposite. He’s known to many to be “reserved, quiet, and/or shy.” But, in actuality, his reservation comes from a well of humility and wisdom more than it does shyness.
It’s said that “empty cans tend to make the most noise.” But, when it comes to my husband, his silence isn’t because he doesn’t have anything to say—it’s because he knows just what to say, how to say it, and most importantly, when to say it. He’s always been a man of more significance than what people give him credit for, especially those who take things at face-value.
And in regards to his “shyness,” that’s also another misconception by others who don’t know him well like I do. He isn’t actually shy. His ego simply doesn’t demand attention. He’s fine standing in the background, observing the world with a keen eye. His inner confidence helps him know exactly who he is, and while extroverts enjoy the obvious charm they’re compelled to share in their obvious and often busy gab, Esly’s charm is like a hidden gem that only a few and privileged people get to enjoy.
You know the term, “strong and silent type.” That’s him. A rock.
I’ve dated men in the past who were wonderfully extroverted, the most popular in a crowd, and the tallest and loudest in the group due to a well-practiced bravado. But when it came to substance and strength, these attributes would falter at the slightest sign of conflict. They were at most, temporarily and superficially entertaining, but fast and fickle as the wind.
Esly, though, was a treasure worth waiting for. A chiseled force undeterred by hardship, nor easily swayed by the superficial.
I have a few friends who have complained about their boyfriends and/or husbands who have a “wandering eye,” those that have no qualms flirting with a woman simply because an opportunity arises. That’s something I don’t worry about with my husband, not only because we share a sincere trust and respect for one another, but because he’s not easily swayed nor interested in the gaudy audacity of women who demand that kind of attention.
As a woman, I’ve had my own insecurities that originated from the burden of poor relationships. And after 12 years of being with my husband, two children, and the toll of changes that come with age and a number of experiences, I’ve asked Esly,
Do you still love me? I mean, I’ve gained weight after the babies, my body has changed, my hair is getting grey…
And on and on I would go, listing my imperfections, foolish enough to compare myself to those that are younger than I am, or that I feel are more attractive than me. And do you know what my husband told me?
I love you. Our bodies will change. We’re going to grow old. But, you’re the one. Those women depend on makeup and crass and their looks only. They think they’re sexy by giving their sex to just anybody. But, you, you’re my wife and the mother of my children—the one I chose and fell in love with from the very beginning. No matter how old we get or how our bodies change, it’s still you. You’re beautiful and I love you.
Okay, ladies. COME ON!! Right?!? RIGHT?!?
Do you see what I mean, now? I am blessed to be loved by such a man.
But, it doesn’t stop there. Sure, my husband isn’t Rambo. He doesn’t ooze machismo like Bruce Willis or Jason Stathan. He doesn’t flirt like George Clooney, nor does he tell jokes Jack Black or Will Farrel. And he sure isn’t the man of the hour in front of paparazzi like Brad Pitt. Nothing wrong with those guys—they’re just not my type of guy.
He doesn’t even need to prove his manhood by the size of his muscles, the speed of his car, the amount of his paycheque, or the alcohol content in his glass. (And that doesn’t mean he isn’t built; he just doesn’t wear skin-tight T-shirts or go to a gym everyday and then tell everyone. He drives a Jeep Cherokee. His paycheque is more than you’d think. And he doesn’t need whiskey or beer to be “one of the guys.”)
He is, however, a faithful man to his word (however few); a man who works hard for his money, but isn’t blinded by the love of it (he doesn’t have to own the largest flat screen TV in the neighbourhood); he’s a man who can be as fiercely protective of those he loves as he can be tender (he still holds my hand and writes me love letters); a man who believes in doing the right thing even when someone isn’t looking; and a man whose quiet resilience will prove to outrun those who lose steam just by bragging about winning the race before they’ve even run. He’s not only a man who’ll help a friend, but also a stranger in need. And he’s humble enough to still help me out with any of the house chores or give me a massage when I’m tired. But, most of all, he’s a man who reveres God, prays for his children, and loves his wife, and remains at best, a positive person, believing and hoping the best in all things and people regardless of the circumstances.
(And for those of you who don’t know: he’s a sports fanatic and plays a killer guitar! LOL)
He’s at the most basic level, a wonderful man.
Queen Victoria isn’t the only one with a birthday! Today’s fireworks are worthy of him, too.
Daddy, the kids and I wish you a wonderful birthday. May God continue to bless you and use you for His plan and purposes!
I love you, Papa.
(c) Photo by Zara D. Garcia-Alvarez. All rights reserved.